The Boston Celtics look older and older as the season goes on. By playoff time the "Big 3" may be residing in a nursing home. I'm still keeping hope that they're just conserving energy, but perhaps age is really catching up with them.
Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for $100 million for using the name "Lindsay" in their new baby commercial. She feels that Lindsay is her name recognition and is equivalent to Oprah and Madonna. If she happens to win this suit, then I plan to sue every production that uses the name Ryan in it.
Recent reports say that Tiger Woods is close to returning to golf. I knew he'd be back in time for The Masters, but this is even earlier! He must be so sick of being with his wife and kids that he needs to get back to doing what he does best.... play golf and have sex. Tiger also hired Ari Fleischer (former Bush White House spokesperson) to repair his image. Trying to make excuses for the actions of Bush and then Tiger is not an easy job.
The NY Mets' Jose Reyes is expected to be out 2-8 weeks with thyroid problems. HGH is known to be a cause of thyroid problems and there has been recent reports that Reyes is linked to a Canadian doctor who prescribed HGH to his clients. It all makes sense now, eh?
Three more aftershock earthquakes struck Chile yesterday. They were all in the 6-point range on the Richter Scale. Although this is off the charts on the Unfair Scale.
There is a recent report that many 12 year-olds (in a certain city in America) are abusing inhalants. I only remember dodgeball and climbing trees at that age. Sniffing certain products to get a high just never seemed like a good idea. Although now that I think about it, my brother was always constantly buying highlighters. I just figured it helped him with his school work. Hmmm?
Reports say that divorced men are more suicidal than married men. I feel like without wives around to constantly harass these men, they should value life more. Yet, maybe these men finally realize that PBJ sandwiches and Ramen Noodles aren't a sufficient food source and feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
A Kansas City superintendent wants to close half the schools in the city because of money constraints. "Schools... out... for...ever"! Clumping 18 year-old seniors in with 6 year-old first graders doesn't seem like a bright idea. Talk about the younger kids getting stuffed in lockers, losing their lunch money and getting swirlies.... this will be like feeding a mouse to a snake.
A Mississippi high school is being sued after canceling the prom rather than allow a Lesbian couple to attend. That seems like a fair action to take. Punish everyone for the school districts disapproval of two students. Lets all welcome Mississippi to the year 2010. Strangely enough, the prom's final song of the night was set to be Katie Perry's "I kissed a girl and I liked it".
Another 30-something female teacher (who is married with a few kids) has admitted to having sex with a 14 year-old boy who was her student. Where were all these fairly attractive female teachers when I was going to school? Why do all the good things happen after I graduate?!
Tim Tebow scored below average for QBs on the "Wonderlic Test". It's not a big deal though because angels never do well on standardized tests. Tennessee Titans' QB Vince Young scored like a 3 on that test and he continues to do well in the NFL when he's given the opportunity. Forget the test results, let's see how Tebow does when he gets in a game.
The Angels' Tori Hunter made some inappropriate comments about Latino players in MLB. It will be interesting to see if his Latino teammates hold a grudge. And it will be even more interesting to see the first few times Hunter faces Latino pitchers. Can you say "bean ball"? According to Hunter, the Latino players can't.... and they'll also sign contracts for "bags of chips"
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