The U.S. Men's Hockey Team Wins, Tiger Speaks Tomorrow, And Elton John Calls Jesus Gay!

NBC, ABC, and CBS are all going to air Tiger Woods' live statement about his past behavior and future tomorrow at 11 A.M. These networks apparently no longer care about their fan base for quality programs like "The View", "The Price Is Right" and "The Martha Stewart Show"! If I was a woman or a fan of "shopping game shows"... I'd be livid! Besides, it's not like Tiger is going to say what we all want to hear. He doesn't even plan on taking any questions. Yet, the real question is whether or not he'll bring Elin along for the ride.

Elton John recently said, “Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man”. And let me guess, Mary Magdalene was a transvestite?! Nothing more to say on this matter.

The U.S. Men's hockey team beat Norway 6-1 today. We can't get too excited because Norway has been outscored 14-1 in the 2 games they've played so far. When you look at it like that, I guess this game was an improvement for Norway. Next up for the U.S. is a showdown on Sunday with the Canadians! I may just try and watch that game... assuming it's actually shown on television at a decent hour.

Eight US missionaries returned to Miami after being detained in Haiti for 3 weeks on kidnapping charges. They agreed that it's colder than they expected in Florida and wouldn't mind heading back to Haiti for some fun in the sun!

The British government has released over 6,000 pages in it's files on UFO sightings over the past 70 years or so. The shapes of these UFOs have changed over the years according to witnesses. Back in the '40s and '50s they were saucer-like shapes and now they're triangular. I guess it makes sense that these alien spaceships would differ from time to time since cars change their models significantly over the years: Hummers, Smart Cars, etc. etc. Although, whether it was the '40s or the '90s.... I'm not down with those alien tests that they perform on humans. That's right, I saw the Travis Walton story!