Former Senator John Edwards finally admitted today that he indeed is the father of his mistress' baby girl. That's not a real shocker with all of the reports that have come out recently linking the probability of him being the baby-daddy. Let's face it, Edwards always ran on the "family" platform and now he has just created an extended family.
Furthermore, Edwards arrived in Haiti today to help with the recovery effort. I'm guessing the timing of all this is less about Edwards being a good person and more about trying to salvage his depleted image. That, and of course, it allows him to stay clear of the wrath of his wife Elizabeth for a little while longer.
Apparently someone has created a "Stab Vest" that fans can purchase for the World Cup in South Africa this coming summer. It was created with the goal of protecting along the same lines that the bullet-proof vest was created. It even comes equipped with a pouch across the chest where a fan can put the flag of the country he or she is cheering for. Isn't that sweet?! Nothing like being extra prepared while scaring the shit out of the average soccer fan. The fact that someone created this "Stab Vest" shows that there could be the slim possibility that you would actually need to wear it while attending the potentially hostile games.
And on that note..... I think I've spotted another Top 10 topic!
Top 10 Reasons To Buy A "Stab Vest" If You Plan On Attending The World Cup
10. You don't like bringing a coat with you, so this is a great substitute.
9. It's a fantastic conversation starter.
8. You plan on cheering for the United States soccer team.
7. It's something to tell your kids about one day... if you survive the World Cup.
6. Who doesn't like racking up more credit card debt?
5. You like the fact that it goes with almost every pair of pants you own.
4. You also live in Detroit so the purchase works year round.
3. So you can be "that guy" in all of the group pictures.
2. It finally gives you an excuse to wear a vest.
1. You waited too long to book one of the safer hotels around town and are forced to sleep outside the stadium.
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Congratulations, you should frame this and put it on your wall, as the first Top 10 list you created that's actually funny. Well Done, I know I often criticize so here is some credit where its due.
ReplyDeleteLet's face it, I'm a "Top 10" Genius! Letterman and his other despicable jerk writers wish they had the talent I had. They had their chance to hire me and they let that opportunity slip through their fingers.... now they can all go rot someplace where it's very very hot if you catch my drift.
ReplyDeleteAnd by the way Buck, you wouldn't know a funny "Top 10 List" if it smacked you in the ankle like that softball did the other day!
ReplyDelete