NFL Week 17 Predictions, a Top Ten List, and a couple of pro-athlete idiots...

By: Ryan Shibley

Let me first start off by saying that the Toronto Raptors should just forfeit the rest of their games this season and hope and pray that they get the Number 1 pick in the NBA Draft. Why am I saying this you ask? Especially since if the season ended today, the Raptors would be the 6th seed in the Eastern Conference. Well I'm saying this because last night Toronto lost to the Boston Celtics who were without Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Rajon Rondo. So, if you can't beat the Celtics minus their best three players, then how do you plan to compete with them when they are at full strength? The Celtics didn't even have a true point guard last night! When quality minutes were given to J.R. Giddens and Tony Allen..... and the Raptors couldn't capitalize on that.... then Canada's only NBA team has a lot of problems. So again I say this, the Raptors should tank the rest of the season and pray that they can select Kentucky's John Wall with the number one pick.

So the Philadelphia Eagles recently gave Michael Con-Vick their teams "Courage Award" for the 2009 season even though there were many other viable candidates. First of all, let us not forget that Vick was in prison for almost 2 years (although it should have been 20 in my eyes) for running a dog fighting operation. He used to kill dogs, shoot dogs, hang dogs, drown dogs, electrocute dogs, and body slam dogs that were no longer useful to him. Now since unfortunately the law doesn't allow the same treatment to Vick, he was just sent to do some "hard time" with society's other delinquents. After receiving the team's "Courage Award", Vick said something along the lines of, "I don't think many people could have done what I've done this year. Not many people could have walked in my shoes." Well guess what Vick, not many people WOULD have done what you did. Not many people WOULD ever walk in your shoes because most people have a conscience...... and you my idiot wildcat QB.... do not have one. Say hello to your brother Marcus for me as well..... I'm sure he's up to no good at the moment. But then again, anything he's doing at the moment is better than killing dogs.

Washington Wizards sharp-shooter Gilbert Arenas (a.k.a. Agent 0) and teammate Javaris Crittenton recently drew guns on each other after a confrontation over one of Agent Zero's gambling debts. As if the NBA didn't have enough of an image problem. Now they have teammates drawing guns on each other as if it's just an everyday argument. It seems like Agent Zero is just becoming a complete Zero nowadays. And what is this Agent Zero crap all about anyways? It seems like he'd rather be an FBI Agent instead of an NBA baller with all the weapons he's carrying around. Rumor has it that Arenas also placed several guns on Crittenton's lawn in an apparent move to send a message. What message is that? That he has enough money to buy some guns and then is stupid enough to leave them on a teammate's lawn out in the open? And the NBA wonders why the average fan has a hard time connecting with its athletes.

So Florida Gator's Tim Tebow and Coach Urban Meyer certainly finished off the season strong as they crushed the Cincinnati Bearcats in the Sugar Bowl. Tebow finished with 533 yards of total offense while throwing 3 TDs and rushing for another. I'd say that's a pretty nice way to finish off a phenomenal college career consisting of 2 National Championships, a Heisman Trophy, and a 35-6 record as a starter. Sure, the Gators had hoped Tebow's senior season in Gainesville would have ended in dream fashion with another national championship against Texas..... but you can't win everything. I'd say overall, the Gators have done quite well for themselves over the last 4 years. It'll be tough to see Tebow leave the college game behind, but I will be looking forward to seeing if he can make it in the NFL..... if of course, some team will give him a chance to play. Belichick take note.

NFL Week 17 Predictions:

Pittsburgh Steelers over the Miami Dolphins. Even though the Steelers chances of making it to the playoffs are slim, I just can't see them losing this game when everything is on the line. Sure, they slipped up earlier on in the season, but they've looked strong the last 2 weeks and they are still the Champs. Sorry Dolphin Wildcat, this week you'll be taking a backseat to the heart of a champion.

Minnesota Vikings over the New York Giants. I can't see Favre and the Vikings playing another bad week before the playoffs..... but I can see the Giants coming out with little emotion since they don't really have anything to play for.

New England Patriots over the Houston Texans. The Patriots are the better team in every possible way. Since they still plan to play their starters even though they've wrapped up the AFC East and a first-round home playoff game..... I'd give them the edge. But then again, don't sleep on the Texans who next year will finally make the playoffs.

Green Bay Packers over the Arizona Cardinals. Let's face it, the Cards already wrapped up a playoff spot a few weeks ago and they don't really turn on their game until the playoffs anyway. QB Kurt Warner has the ability to be the best player on the field, and he also has the ability to look no better than a high school QB at times. I know the Cards are hoping that the NFL-Warner shows up come playoff time like he did last year.

Baltimore Ravens over the Oakland Raiders. The Ravens control their own playoff destiny with a win against the Ray-Das. And with a defense that is always solid, I don't see the Ravens screwing up this opportunity to make it back to the playoffs. The Raiders have definitely proven this year that they are capable of knocking off some top-tier teams, but they've also demonstrated (like last week) that they can lose to some awful teams as well. Al Davis' famous line "Just Win Baby"..... will have to wait another year.

Dallas Cowboys over the Philadelphia Eagles. This is not an easy game to pick, but I think Romo and the gang will add another late season victory to their resume. This game is huge with the winner likely to wrap up the number 2 seed in the NFC playoff picture. I'm not necessarily saying that the Cowboys will go far in the playoffs, but at least they can keep their negative fans off their backs for another week.

Kansas City Chiefs over the Denver Broncos. This is my surprise pick as you can probably tell. A lot has changed since the Broncos started off the season 6-0 and had a three game division lead on the San Diego Chargers. Head Coach Josh McDaniels and WR Brandon Marshall are still not on the same page and this could be the disgruntled WR's final game as a Bronco. In a season that started off rocky, then looked very smooth for awhile, will finish in the dumps as they'll miss the playoffs. Good for the Chiefs though who could use another solid victory to build some momentum for next year.

And finally. New York Jets over the Cincinnati Bengals. The Jets also control their playoff destiny with a win over the Bengals who already have locked up a spot. I think the Bengals are going to rest their starters.... at least for the second half. And with a big win at Indy last week, the Jets will look to keep the momentum going with a win and a trip to the playoffs. Where they'll hopefully run into the Patriots and get obliterated in Foxboro next weekend. Sorry Jets fans, but your big-mouthed and big-bellied coach has made one too many comments this season for my liking.


Top 10 List: The Top 10 Rejected NCAA College Basketball Mascots

10. Virginia Tech Hokie Pokies and Turn Yourself Around
9. William & Mary (Plus 8)
8. Sacred Heart Attack
7. Arkansas Hairy Backs
6. Marshall Thundering Turds
5. Providence Medium Friars, a Cheeseburger and a Pepsi
4. Nebraska Porn Huskers
3. Wisconsin Badges.... we don't need no badges.... we don't need no stinkin' badges
2. Indiana Hoosier Daddys
1. South Carolina Lame Cocks